I get asked a lot for advice on parenting and kids. I guess having four kids in eight years will make it appear that I am an expert — spoiler, I am NOT!

And while I am always very willing to share what has worked for us, it always makes me smile a bit, because 80% of the time, I’m winging it you guys. I am truly just a normal mama trying to survive day to day (ok, hour by hour )

Today my kids were calling each other fart face

I had to surfboard carry my almost 3 year old and put her in the stroller to get home from the park in time for lunch.

My 9 month old has found his voice and now sounds like he is crying all day and it makes my blood pressure escalate, quickly

And at the end of the day, my patience is so thin that I end up yelling at some point

But if I am to give advice, this is what I always tell those mamas who message me, and it’s not to “enjoy those moments” because when you’re in the thick of it; that makes you feel like a piece of shit.

My best advice?

It’s ok to not love motherhood all the time.

It’s ok to feed your kids macaroni and cheese. From a box.

It’s ok to put on a tv show so that you can shower in peace (hopefully!)

It’s ok to just be ok.

And you don’t have to preface the sucky parts of motherhood with “I mean, I love them so much, but..” we know you love those kids more than anything; but girl, sometimes kids can be jerks.

Being a mom is hard. It’s hard work with little reward and you never know that until all of a sudden you’re a mom and realize that your own mom is a literal saint.

It’s ok to just be ok.

Are your kids loved? Are they fed? Are they happy? YES. Of course they are.

If your kids are like mine, they just want you to be with them; and they don’t even care if you’re showered. In fact, they love you so much, they want to be in the bathroom with you while you’re pooping. (And we will be sure to remind them of this when they’re 13!)

You’re doing GREAT, friend.

So snag yourself a shower in quiet, no baby monitors allowed, and breathe.